SammfeatBlueheart on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/sammfeatblueheart/art/I-M-NOT-A-HOLY-PERSON-679030581SammfeatBlueheart

Deviation Actions

SammfeatBlueheart's avatar

I'M NOT A HOLY PERSON

Published:
1.2K Views

Description

I think my faith was not enough.
I even understand the Bible (Just understand it with the help of internet or another person)
I don't feel any presence in these times, even so tired in waiting His answers. 
Always having anxieties and doubts, fearful and negative feelings
Doesn't feel His Spirit ( I don't know if what do they feel the Spirit's presence and they call it important. And well, I am afraid I don't feel anything inside me. I feel abandoned.)
Don't go to church (and it was "Sinful" for some believers)
Being "Lustful" (what they call "lusting" was drawings of sexy stuffs and anything, I don't know. But those are just my thoughts and they are never get real. I think I'm doomed.)
Any stuffs that surrounds me. 

I think I'm a disgrace. A  so-called Christian that's not a holy person. A disgrace indeed. 

Sometimes I wish I was never born, to experience all of these stuffs. Just created as an angel that doesn't leave God and was happy for the duty, to serve Him always.

I... Feel... Condemned.
Image size
1316x2020px 605.25 KB
© 2017 - 2024 SammfeatBlueheart
Comments184
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
matlapa99's avatar
You're not a disgrace, we all have our imperfections. Just because we sin it doesn't mean we aren't good people, it's not worth beating yourself up over it. I know how it feels to have fears and doubts, just don't let those doubts and fears get the better of you. I know this is probably going to sound cliche but, never give up, stay determined.